Gúero was curreleando Tita. He’d been at it for weeks, saying mamón things to her whenever they crossed paths.
“My day’s so brightened now. So lucky to see you,” he’d say.
He complimented her every way he could think of to everybody.
“She was the smartest one way back when we were in school. Everybody thought she was the prettiest in our class. Always very nice. Great taste in everything.”
Tita knew what he was up to. It amused her. She didn’t dislike him, but she wasn’t up for a courtship project. She still hadn’t gotten over her boyfriend quitting her recently. And she didn’t see Gúero as a big enough catch to change her mood.
“No harm letting him try,” she thought to herself.
Tita’s niece, Chabelita, was watching, a little put off that her aunt was letting Gúero pursue her.
“Sura. Way too young to be curreleando Tita. Gotta stop this,” Chabelita thought.
Her opportunity came at a New Year’s party.
Tita was hosting the party. An hour away from the midnight, the kids in the crowd were taken home, leaving only adults.
“Órale, the wet noses are gone to bed. New rules on the restroom. Seat down, and any vato who leaves it up or can’t aim right is going to the fregada,” Tita announced.
Chabelita smiled and looked around for Gúero.
“Beer, ese?” she asked Gúero, an open can in her hand.
“Sure,” he said.
“Another beer?” she asked him when she saw he’d finished the one she’d given him.
Gúero took it and thanked her with a nod.
Minutes later, he headed to the restroom. Chabelita followed and waited outside. When he came out and walked back in the crowd, she walked in.
The toilet seat was indeed down and dry. But Chabelita put it up, waited a minute, opened the door and waved Tita over.
“Look, Gúero left the seat up,” she told Tita.
“Pinche currelero,” Tita said.
“Hey, Gúero, no I said put the seat up?” she said.
“Sorry, Tita. I thought...,” Gúero said before Tita cut him off.
“Pos, watchale,” Tita said.
Chabelita repeated the drill. But the next time Gúero went to the restroom, she got Tita’s attention while he was still inside; curiously, he hesitated at the door when he opened it and looked back as if to make sure everything was in order.
Chabelita went in immediately after him, beer can in hand.
“Hey! Qué onda with the wet set?” she called out to Tita.
Tita went in to inspect.
“Te sales, Gúero. Not gonna invite you to my parties anymore,” Tita roared.
The crowd grew silent. Gúero went out the back door all agúitado.
